Oh, you foolish children. What is so poignant about this one is the complete innocence and simplicity on the part of our stupid human friends. You see, Marm is the only one in the family who keeps up on current events, and as such has actually saved the kids' lives.
That ball was made in China, little ones. Marmaduke risked contracting SARS, avian flu, lead poisoning AND melamine-induced mouth cancer just so you could continue living. Show some gratitude, you little bastards.
And Phil, unclench those half-clenched fists. You're not gonna do shit. We know this.