Assemble your Fantasy Band

This is like Fantasy Football, only without the Football (or, as so many misguided foreigners tend to call it, "Futbol", which is another sport entirely and is largely unwatched by Americans and therefore sucks).

This is your Fantasy Band, which as the name suggests is wholly unbased in any form of reality. I heard this suggestion on a morning show (Mark and Brian - KLOS) and thought I'd steal it since I have no original ideas anymore.

Basically, you assemble a band based on any musicians living or otherwise (Keith Richards fits either description) and wonder if they'd actually be any good or would just totally suck like some Superbands have.

For mine, I have cautiously and carefully randomly selected the following:

Lead Singer - Scott Weiland. For at least the first few weeks before he goes back into Rehab. Then that spot would be filled by either Chris Cornell or Michael Hutchence. Or both. Why the fuck not? Any of these guys can wail and croon, and I like that sort of versatility.

Lead Guitar - this was a tossup between Prince and Tom Morello, with a dash of Slash thrown in. Prince is amazing when he wields his axe, Morello can create sounds that would make George Lucas have spasmodic orgasms of envy, and Slash ... well, he can rock a crowd and look plain ugly doin' it. Winner: Prince.

Rhythm Guitar - Sorry, but I have to throw John Mayer into this spot. Guy's good.

Bass - again, a tossup. Flea or Les Claypool. Shit. This is a tough one. Winner: Les.

Drums - Grohl. Hell yeah. Danny Carey was close, real close. As was Collins. But Grohl gets the spot.

Keyboards - yes, fucking keyboards. You know they're gonna be in there at some point, so ... Martin Gore? Bruce Hornsby? Billy Joel? Elton? Hmm. Winner: Brian Eno.

Triangle: Ed Grimley. Duh.

I'm gonna stop now cause I have to get some sleep and no one's reading this anyway. I may update it tomorrow just out of OCD.



  1. I would TOTALLY go see that band. You had me with Michael Hutchence, but honestly, you sealed the deal with Ed Grimley on the rockin' Triangle.

    Ok, my band:

    Lead Singer: Janis Joplin
    Lead Guitar: Jimmy Page
    Rhythm Guitar: Eric Clapton
    Drums: Animal from The Muppets
    Bass: I'm going with Les Claypool, too, b/c Primus still sucks.
    Keyboards: Who'm I kidding? My band won't have keyboards!

    Back-up vocals: Jim Morrison, Elvis, and Donna Summer.

    Yeah, that's the ticket.

  2. Bev - NICE!

    When I first started compiling this list (about 12 minutes before posting it), my first choices went to many of the classic staples such as Page, Bonham, Jimi, etc., but then I really thought about actual technical prowess and musical styles that would still hold relevance today. Then I put the joint out and started typing.

    I totally dig your list. We should see if we can make this happen. You get on the phone with Jesus and I'll roll up another ... um, set of flyers to hand out.

    Oh, and ... Animal? Fuck yeah. Good call.

  3. Michael Hutchence...YES! My first concert ever was INXS KICK. (Just showed my age and/or late appearance into concert going.)

    Scott Weiland? Hubby and I were talking about him earlier today...did he die? Or was it Layne Staley?

    And I'd cast Will Ferell. Because I need more cowbell.

    I love me some Flea. And I want to bone Grohl like nobody's biznis. Thought you should know. (LOVE that QOTSA song!) And Danny Carey is from Kansas. One day, I'll tell a story about how Tool makes me wet. I mean, hot. I'm SO drunk...took me 15 minutes to comment.

  4. Ohhhhh, I wanna play...

    of course, my choices will be based solely on hot-itude and those I'd like to do nasty.. and to hell with technical ability!

    Lead Singer - Mick Jagger... but the young Mick (fuck you! This is MY fantasy band)

    Lead guitar - Joe Perry (circa early '90s)

    Rhythm guitar - Johnny Depp *swoon*

    Drums - I'd also have to go with Dave Grohl... mind you, the bathed Dave and not the rather greasy version of late.

    Harmonica - a young John Lennon. ahhhhh, I love me some Beatles.

    and on the tambourine... Art Alexakis... mmmmmmmm....

  5. Mala - nice choices. I woulda gone with Mick too, just for the pre-Hutchence swagger effect. Not that I wanna fuck him or anything. Jagger, I mean.

    Depp, on the other hand ... I'd consider wearing short cutoffs and unscuffed construction boots for. Yeah, I said it.

    Alexakis? Nice ref for a pretty much forgotten dude! What the hell happened to them anyway? S'pose I could Google it or something ...

    All in all, nice list. And thanks for stopping by. Seriously.

    (See what I did there? That was a shameless plea. Hope it works)

    (ps - I'm typing this in parentheses so no one else can see)



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