Well-Known Lyrics as Interpreted by a Pretentious Asshole

Ever listen to a song and think "By Golly, those are some fascinating lyrics, but what do they truly mean? Maybe I should have my 12th Grade English teacher translate them!"

Of course you don't. That would be asinine. Which is why I did this - so you wouldn't have to.

Don't thank me.

Just de-translate these lyrics back into their originally intended forms. I know you can.

The ambient temperature in this location is elevating, so disrobe completely.

(My core temperature is increasing alarmingly, I will remove all of my garments)

There is a female who is confident that all objects capable of reflecting and refracting light are composed of precious metal

And she is purchasing a graded incline with which to reach an ethereal realm of bliss

All things considered, leaping is a viable option

Proceed to leap

A darkened interior environment is less perilous*

We are currently in your presence, provide us with mirth

I have traversed the vacant arid landscape on an anonymous equine

It brings me solace to be away from the precipitation

Merely a young female who hailed from a diminutive community, existing in a paradigm of solitude

She chose to embark upon a locomotive departing at the nocturnal meridian apex and with no particular destination

I am a singular Homo Ovus

I am a singular Homo Ovus

I am a singular Odobenus Rosmarus

(often misspelled nonsensical words)

The female was a mechanical construct created for rapid movement and maintained the tidiness of her propulsion unit

She was the ultimate maledicted female in my history of observation

This remains my personal celebratory congregation and I reserve the right to express sorrow should I see fit to do so

You are bequeathed with the necessity of engaging in combat in order to preserve your inherent freedom to engage in social revelry

All people desire an unspecified quantity greater than one

I desire that as well

My desire is to engage in a raucous form of music for the nocturnal duration

And mingle socially on a diurnal basis

Kind acceptance to the public lodging comprising a large majority of the US Pacific coast

Quite the handsome premises, quite the winsome countenance

That'll do, Pig. That'll do.

Sure, but can you make a Margarita?

* - edited to fix an incorrect lyric. Bad Google! Bad!