9.12.2009

Well-Known Lyrics as Interpreted by a Pretentious Asshole


Ever listen to a song and think "By Golly, those are some fascinating lyrics, but what do they truly mean? Maybe I should have my 12th Grade English teacher translate them!"

Of course you don't. That would be asinine. Which is why I did this - so you wouldn't have to.

Don't thank me.

Just de-translate these lyrics back into their originally intended forms. I know you can.



The ambient temperature in this location is elevating, so disrobe completely.
(My core temperature is increasing alarmingly, I will remove all of my garments)


There is a female who is confident that all objects capable of reflecting and refracting light are composed of precious metal
And she is purchasing a graded incline with which to reach an ethereal realm of bliss


All things considered, leaping is a viable option
Proceed to leap


A darkened interior environment is less perilous*
We are currently in your presence, provide us with mirth


I have traversed the vacant arid landscape on an anonymous equine
It brings me solace to be away from the precipitation


Merely a young female who hailed from a diminutive community, existing in a paradigm of solitude
She chose to embark upon a locomotive departing at the nocturnal meridian apex and with no particular destination


I am a singular Homo Ovus
I am a singular Homo Ovus
I am a singular Odobenus Rosmarus
(often misspelled nonsensical words)


The female was a mechanical construct created for rapid movement and maintained the tidiness of her propulsion unit
She was the ultimate maledicted female in my history of observation


This remains my personal celebratory congregation and I reserve the right to express sorrow should I see fit to do so


You are bequeathed with the necessity of engaging in combat in order to preserve your inherent freedom to engage in social revelry


All people desire an unspecified quantity greater than one
I desire that as well


My desire is to engage in a raucous form of music for the nocturnal duration
And mingle socially on a diurnal basis


Kind acceptance to the public lodging comprising a large majority of the US Pacific coast
Quite the handsome premises, quite the winsome countenance

That'll do, Pig. That'll do.


Sure, but can you make a Margarita?


* - edited to fix an incorrect lyric. Bad Google! Bad!

13 comments:

  1. Stumble across this on LOTD...very funny stuff! Decided to give it a try...

    1) It's getting hot in herrre so take off all your clothes(I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off)

    2)There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

    3) Might as well jump. Jump!

    4) No clue!!

    5) I have been through the desert on a horse with no name, it feels good to get out of the rain

    6) It's on the tip of my tongue, I swear!!

    7) I am the eggman, I am the eggman, I am the walrus! Koo koo ka choo!

    8) It's killing me that I can't place this one! I know this!

    9) It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

    10) You gotta fight! For your right! To paaaarrty!

    11) D'oh!

    12) I wanna rock and roll all night & party every day!

    13) Welcome the the hotel California, such a lovely place, such a lovely face

    Oh well, missed a few. What are they?

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  2. #8 She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I'd ever seen!

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  3. #6- Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world
    She took the midnite train going anywhere..

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  4. #4 With the lights out it's less dangerous/here we are now/entertain us.

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  5. The one time I'm not the first one here and all the fun gets taken. Figures.

    #11 is "Everybody wants some, I want some, too." Van Halen, baby!

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  6. You gotta fight for your right to party.

    Rock and roll all night, party every day.

    Welcome to the Hotel California. Such a lovely place, such a lovely face.

    Been through the desert on a horse with no name.

    Great stuff, Stu. Mind if I use it on LOTD? With full credit to you, of course.

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  7. You had me at "propulsion unit".

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  8. trickee - nicely done! You know your shit.

    Mala - I think that should be your motto. Oh yeah.

    Leigh - I actually posted the wrong translation first. I really should drink and type. *hic*

    SM - I was going to actually dedicate this entry to you, since you're usually my first (only) reader. See what happens when you don't pay attention?

    Cary - of course! It'll be right after the movie quiz, right? [wink]

    Penny - your comment makes me blush.

    Y'all rawk. Cheers!

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  9. awwwwww..... Stuart that's the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me all day!

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  10. Stuart-
    Love your blog & loved the lyric challenge! Glad eveyone filled in the blanks for me! Can't believe I didn't get 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'... I wore that tape OUT!

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  11. Mala's engine isn't all that clean. Just sayin'.

    Love these! Too bad they're all taken... I snoozed & I looozed! Great work, though. Funny shtuff.

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  12. No, no, no Bev, it's my mind that's filthy!

    The engine is prime and purring, baby!

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  13. Thanks, all a y'all. I'm gonna post another one soonishly. Meanwhile, if you have an idea for a quiz yet can't be arsed to work out the details, lemme know and I'll be happy to steal it from you and rake in MILLIONS! Mwooh-ha-ha-HAAA!

    [noneface]

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete

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