How to fuck with the kid in the car next to you at a stoplight.

Keep a TV remote in your glove box. When the little towhead next to you looks, smile knowingly and keep an eye on the cross-street lights. Pick up the remote and press a button when the light turns green. He will think you are the coolest person on Earth as you zoom through the intersection. His parents will never, ever, compare, no matter how many times they tell him he's wrong about what he saw.

It feels good to help a child expand his or her horizons.

Nothing at home will ever compare to the awesomeness at 43rd and Spruce.


  1. I just pull gruesome ogre faces at the little rat bastards, then turn back to the front and resume normalcy when they try to get a parent's attention.

  2. Beautiful insanity. Well done sir.

  3. Excellent! For quite some time I managed to pull off saying "Abra Cadabra" and having Sam think I ruled the world. Works at automatic doors, too. Dumb kids.


Dance for me, my little puppets ...