The season of love, caring, generosity, and really hideous sweaters is nigh upon us like a fruitcake from the Heavens.

Yep, it's that time of year to break out the sweaters-turned-holiday dioramas and the stirrup pants. Ladies, this goes for you too. Personally, I hate sweaters. Always have. Even back in the day when I rawked the sweater-mullet and fuzzstache, I just couldn't quite warm up to the sweater. Unless, of course, it looked awesome in its horridness.

Here's a fun little place where you can design your dream sweater. I had some fun with this last year. Here are some samples:

Ho Ho Ho, yo.

Sweaters make the man.


  1. I think there is a shot at a career in clothing design in your future. Roasting the Snowman on a candy cane over cocoa was definitely my favorite! It's all in the details. Yet the reindeer shitting Christmas lights was a close second. So festive! Fa la la la la...

  2. Spec-fucking-tacular, Stuart. Hey, is that Dave Atell taking an icicle in the snow hole?

  3. SM - the snowman's my favorite too. I call him "Chestnut".

    Kari - it all makes sense now. Thank you!

    And hey! I wanna see some creations by y'all. Make some festive fucking sweaters!

    ps - I'm considering turning on WV. Not because I get Asian Mortgage Porn, but because I think it's funny. What do you think?

  4. I love that the carolers are so casual about Santa and the Panda, like it's just another evening in their happy little neighborhood.

  5. Kari - dammit. I'm posting this here because once again I can't comment on your blog. Fucking annoying, Bill! Here it is:

    Judging by this post title, I was thinking football.

    Hey , I feel a profound emptiness inside me as well, but that may be from what Uncle Phil was talking about. Sons of Anarchy just wrapped up the season, so it's reruns til whenever.

    On a side note - you helped me with the last part of my latest quiz. I couldn't figure out one clue until you so generously gave it away, gave it away, gave it away now.


    wv - shorn: really? this is too easy. and breathtaking.

  6. Shannon - if you look closely, you can see that they are indeed aghast. Or maybe just puckering. Hard to say. In any case, I'm waiting for a letter from PETA.

    Side note - the comments counter is short by one. this is odd. oh wait, now it's even. but still off by one.

  7. Stuart, I love the shit out of you even when I have no idea what you are talking about. I say turn on the WV so we can find more ways to make juvenile genitalia jokes.

  8. Kari - I couldn't comment on your blog, so I put it here verbatim. I was cursing Bill (Gates) for all the computer problems in the world, and the football comment was in reference to your subject line, which made me think of the pretext to the word "Hike!"

    As for the quiz comment, you'll see tomorrow.


    oh, and wv is on like Donkey Kong.

  9. Those sweaters are hysterical. Spider Santa ho ho ho

  10. Dear Santa,
    I want the bikini sweater...but in a sweater vest, if possible.

  11. I'd kick in $5 to see Mala in that sweater...

    But 'Chestnut' made me laugh. A lot. And what the hell is Santa doing to Ling Ling?

    My word verf was PHOLOW...a basement Vietnamese restaurant...

  12. VL - thanks! I always (and by "always", I mean "since the late 80's") drew a parallel between "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and The Cure's "Lullaby". That's normal, right?

    Mala - the full red sweater is intentional, and is meant to remind the viewer of the importance of proper sunscreen use.

    Elliott - Santa is helping teach that stupid ursid how to not be so damned endangered all the time, 'cause they can't seem to figure it out themselves. He's a good man, that jolly old elf.

    Save me a spring roll, wouldja?

  13. O Holy Shit, that is some damn funny stuff! The bikini one and the Santa panda-fucker one are going on my X-mas list. I think Mr. Bev will look quite fetching in the latter.

    Nice work!


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